Late 1975 - Back to Abnormal

Canberra, compared to Jakarta was shock.

I was now a small fish in a big pond.

The amalgamation between the Department of External Territories and Foreign Affairs (Aid Branch) was done ‘n dusted 18 months earlier.  It was a "them and us" environment.  Territories was top heavy with Second Division officers who favoured their own "troops".

Experience in administering Papua New Guinea prior to Independence was different than administering Colombo Plan aid to sovereign nations.

Prospects were dim.

I purchased a brown/Faun coloured EH Holden and moved back into a bedsitter along Northbourne Avenue across the road from the Rex hotel.

I enrolled at the Australian National University ANU and was given credits for Bahasa Indonesian I and II.

My rugby club, Northern Suburbs had built itself a club house at Belconnen - next to the bus transit terminal. No one drank at the Rex H hotel - a soulless place.

I was extremely lonely.

To escape the boredom, I started to run - long distances.  Years later when the movie Forest Gump came out, I felt empathy with the character who just ran and ran.

Mates

Ken Hamilton lived above me on level two of the same apartment block.

Kenny was both a drunk and a pest.  He had been involved in a car accident a decade before and had scars over his face from going through the wind screen.  He was in a constant stupor.  Yet he was my friend.

He would come home from the pub after closing hours and knock on my door - for a night cap.

Most times I would lie doggo pretending not to be there and he would stagger off upstairs.

One Friday night he came home with his mate Dave Smith.

Dave was a postman and a bar fly at the Rex hotel.

Both were roaring drunk upstairs.

Then suddenly there was this god awful thud and then silence.

"Knock Knock!" ... "Knock Knock!" ... ...

Mmtiger ...mAmbulance!"

I jumped out of bed and opened the door.

Kenny was leaning against the door frame.  He could only point to the ceiling and the location of the thud saying "mAmbulance! ", mAmbulance!.

I dialled "000"; gave the address and then raced upstairs to tender to Dave.

Dave was face down lying on the concrete floor - motionless.

Concerned I knelt down next to him trying to remember CPR and the Does and Don’ts of first aid.

Then suddenly there was a snort and snore.  He was just dead drunk.

Christ! I just called the ambulance only to see two paramedics rushing up the pathway as the ambulance station was only 300 m from the flats - corner of Limestone and Northbourne Avenues.

In the meantime, Ken is still in my apartment with the phone to his ear staring at the wall.

The para medics were not amused.  They warned me I would be billed for an unwanted Call Out.

Angrily I pushed Kenny out the door and went back to bed.

The next evening I went over to the Rex - around 8pm.

Kenny and Dave were there - aglow.

"Hi Tiger - like a beer?"

"No Kenny I am still cranky with you"

"What about?"

"That ambulance!"

"What ambulance?"

...

Tony Bryce and Dave Chipendale

Tony Bryce lived on the top level of the apartment block.

We had been friends for years.  In 1973 we went to NZ by boat and toured North and South Islands.

He followed Norths but never played.

We were both Joggers and drove down to compete in the City to Surf Fun Run.

Dave Chipendale occupied an apartment diagonally across the lawn.

Like Brycie, Chips never played for Norths but accompanied Kenny to rugby matches and loyally carried him home.  (Both Chips and Kenny went to Nudgee College).

We were desperate characters - we even shared the same girl friend for a while there.

Pickings were slim.

Carmel O'Hare (Nee Quilty)

I met Carmel at the Lituhanian Club in Lynham in August or September 1976.

It was an after work function on a Wednesday evening to farewell Jack ?? with whom she worked in External Territories - now Foreign Affairs (AIDAB).

She wore a body tight purple/lavender woolen full length dress and looked stunning.

She had a melodious enunciated voice as well as beautiful fine facial features and rich auburn hair.

I was besotted.

I got my words mixed up.  I think I said: "I am pleased for me to meet you"

Around Midnight the last three people in the club were Carmel, Peter Johnson and myself.

It was a silly invitation.  Carmel invited me back to her place in the suburb of Hawker.

It was a week day - a work day. I chose not stay around too long and promised I would ring her - the next day.

Calling people on the phone is not my strong suite - never has been.  I agonised. I did not know what to say to such a classy lady.  The melodious tones greeted me and she helped me with the conversation.

I was into serious jogging and the local Woden to City Fun Run was on that weekend.

I was aiming for a time I wanted to get under.  We made a deal if I did beat it she would make me dinner.

I made sure I got under this target - well under.

The Finish Line was ten abreast with spectators and there the normal milling crowd in the car park.  Carmel just stood out. We chatted.  I was chuffed.

We had Steak Dianne that night and went from there.

(Never let a good cook go!)

Carmel was boarding at John Cuthel's home in Hawker.  John was a year behind me at St Pats.  He was an accountant in private practice.  Both John and Carmel were separated from different spouses and were in the process of sorting out their lives.  It was a difficult sensitive time.

Maureen and Terry had a family function.  I took Carmel along.  For me it was a nervous experience.  No one had met her.  In fact no one in the family had ever known me to have a girlfriend and subtle questions were beginning to be asked about a 31 year old bachelor. But bringing a girl to meet the Malone clan was a general declaration - and an underlying sense of relief from some quarters.

Becalmed at Sea 

Before I met Carmel I had made plans for a month's leave back in Indonesia.

I asked Carmel to join me for the later 10 days in Bali wherein I promised to take her to places beyond the tourist domain. I promised Carmel a memorable time - she got one.

I became becalmed at sea.

Carmel was beside herself for most of my absence with the worst part being the waiting.

We returned to Canberra where it took me weeks to recover from the ordeal.

A few months after our disasterous Jakarta/Bali "holiday", Carmel moved into a my tiny bedsitter in O'Connor - over the road from the Rex hotel.

It was here that she made a momentous decision to leave the public service thereby compromising her accumulated Long Service Leave.

She easily "landed" a job in the world outside the public service.

It was at the Canberra College of Advanced Education CCAE in the Counseling Department.

We moved out of the bedsitter at O'Connor to a one bedroom apartment top floor of the Currong Flats in Braddon. 
It was a government apartment and the rent was cheap.

I was very fit - which added to personal well being.  I used to run up Mount Ainslie one week and alternatively Mount Black the next week.

We snuggled up in this little unit while I saved for the deposit for my first home in 1977 - a two bedroom unit in the suburb of Page.

It cost $31,000 - I had to service a mortgage of $23,000.

Posting Dilemma

I could not stand being in the public service in Canberra.

It was soul destroying and stifling.  A posting in Bangkok was on offer.

It was on the same grade (Second Secretary) that I had been on since 1973.

If I got it, this would mean another three years without promotion.

Also as I was not married, single officer terms and conditions were applicable.

A further complication was that I was now half way through my BA (Asian Studies) degree course - which would mean further deferral.  I started in 1966.

“Why not apply for it and decline later”.

In about September 1977, I was formally offered the posting.

Ross McGovern was on the selection panel.  There were problems at the post as the Aid Section was dysfunctional and all three staff were due to terminate their posting within two months of each other.

Someone told me latter that the panel needed to pick proven performers.  Hence my selection came from Left Field as this was my fifth overseas appointment - counting Copenhagen.

What about Carmel? Neither of us wanted to get married just to go on a posting.

If I went, would she follow me? Would it be the end? Did I want it to be the end?

We did not talk about it for a couple of weeks - just too difficult.

Then we did and got into more of an emotional tangle.

The Gordian Knot was cut by Carmel's work colleague at the CCAE.

He was a psychologist.  Carmel suggested we both have a session with him.

In Doc Martin (TV comedy series) style, he asked straight out "How do you feel about Carmel?"

I looked at her and started to mumble out a form of words.

He stopped me short and said "The way you just looked at Carmel, you have no problems. Go for it".

...

So that day I rang up the Terms and Conditions section of Foreign Affairs with a view to requesting Defacto Spouse status.

Snakes Goodwin (Saigon/Brussels colleague) was heading this Section and got straight on to it.

Defacto status was breaking the mould in these conservative days - yet we got it.
(Snakes officiated at our Wedding two years latter in Singapore)

So we were set to go - Xmas 1977.